hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I have post one night stand depression
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