you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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