I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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