If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize