Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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