and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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