How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
