fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
