Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
