i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
