You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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