woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
