if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
