1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
She said her name was "party"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
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We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
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That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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