Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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