yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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