only if we run a train.
done.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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