Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
