If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize