sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
