if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
