Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
