I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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