Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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