thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
