How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize