Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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