Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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