quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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