he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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