yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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