Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
