I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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