wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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