do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
