Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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