Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
