on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
