3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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