'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
