my room smells like sperm. sweet.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
