They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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