The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
