I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
