i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
