so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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