she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
