I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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