Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
