How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
