The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize