Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
