I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
