her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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