She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
