currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
