The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
