nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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