I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
The adults are the big ones right?
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