This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
