she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
