How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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