i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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