Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He called his prostate his "boner button".
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
